Sick and tired of being sick and tired! 2015

It really is disappointing to hear that I have a disease, especially when it is a chronic disease. But what do I do when I have responsibilities like raising my two children, keeping the house in order, and having food prepared. It SUCKS! But how can I be positive about this. Doctor says I can’t exercise, be stressed, over exert myself or be out in the sun for a long time. How is this possible? Life is full of surprises and stress and over exerting oneself is a common thing in motherhood. Although life is unpredictable, I don’t want to complain nor want sympathy over my sickness. Being vulnerable is scary. Being vulnerable makes me feel like I have been defeated. But what can I do to show my kids that I am strong and giving up is not an option. How is God helping me with this? How is he beside me and loving me when he’s only giving me heartache?

I will get through this! I will surpass the tiredness and sickness! How can I live stress free? First thing is first. I have to be able to find a solution in being able to keep the house clean, raising my children in a fun and loving home, making sure the fridge is packed with good food, and being able to be sane without exercising and going outside. So I found a reasonable solution. I made cleaning the house a fun activity (basically, I told my children if they don’t clean up their toys, it will be locked up). Half of their toys have been locked up. Their kitchen set had a rope tied around it since last week.  My kids character cabinet has been child locked for the past month. Their markers have been placed on top of a bookshelf.

Honesty is huge aspect in my life. I strive for the truth. No matter how heart wrenching it is, I want the TRUTH.

SariaHArt

I am a second generation Korean American female that struggled terribly during my childhood and to my adulthood. In my family, my life was nonexistent. I was resented, unloved, neglected, and treated like a ghost from my biological parents. My father was a manic depressed, alcoholic during my whole life. My mother is a “narcissistic mother” whom never wanted me and told me that her greatest regret in life was having to stop breastfeeding my brother because I was born.

At the age of 20, something static happened. My life changed and I ferociously pursued my life as an artist. I ecstatically announced my newfound passion to my family, and they brutally laughed and impertinently told me I was crazy. Shockingly, for the first time in my life, I numbed them out and passionately started learning all about the ARTS. Creativity was not in my vocabulary, as I never drew as a kid, nor did any arts and crafts.

Anxiously, I took my passion for painting and drawing and started enrolling in all the art classes at a community college. I dedicated myself in so many art classes and studied about art night and day. I judiciously isolated myself with art. I forcefully wanted all the knowledge about art, artists, history…etc that time passed so quickly, that within 2 years, I have taken so many classes that I received an AA in Drawing and Painting. At 2003, Cerritos Community College awarded me “Student of the Year Curricular Art Award.” For the first time in my life, I felt pride and I knew this was my calling, passion, and purpose for my life. Since, I couldn’t afford to transfer to a prestigious university, I applied to only one school that was close to where I lived, California State University of Fullerton. From there, I graduated with a Deans List and received my BFA in 2007.

After graduation, I wanted to get experience, and produce series of artwork and only focusing on the purpose of my artwork. Merrily, 2007 was a dream and seemed effortless with all the upcoming events. The Bill Lowe Gallery in Santa Monica, CA had called me and asked me if they can represent me as one of their Artists, so I happily signed with them. A month later, TARFEST Festival of Film, Music, and art in Los Angeles CA, chose one of my art pieces “Choices” to be represented in the Korean Culture Center. Also, in 2007, I was chosen for an Artist Residency for two months and was the youngest artist to exhibit in “The Red Arrow Gallery” in Joshua Tree with two other artists. I was publicized in Korea Times, Los Angeles and an exclusive article about me as an artist in the Hi Desert Star in Joshua Tree News. In the last months of 2007 and first month of 2008, I was granted $600 to stay at Kimmel Harding Nelson Center in Nebraska for another artist residency. With the works that I produced at the residency, I was granted a $1000 honorarium, with a two month solo exhibition in Omaha, Nebraska at the Art Loft of Florence Mill. In 2009 I went to Madison, Wisconsin for another Residency and produced more than twenty works during my stay. At 2010, from those artworks, I was fortunate to be asked to show in a two artist exhibition in Stockton, California at the “LH Horton Gallery.” My artwork was hung throughout the gallery for a full month. ***MOST IMPORTANTLY, I want everyone to understand that anyone can learn anything if they put their heart into it. Never give up and don’t let yourself or others tell you otherwise. It doesn’t matter how old you are or how busy you are, if you want to learn how to draw and paint, it is 100% possible. Just believe in yourself and pursue your passion.

http://www.SariaHArt.com
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Homemaker and an artist.  2015

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Korean Traditions 2015